I went back on this blog and found what I wrote when Audrey was two months:

Her stats: 10 lbs. 15 oz. and 22.5 inches. She is in the 5oth percentile so we've got a healthy baby on our hands! She is also sleeping for 8 straight solid hours during the night. Which is great but I still find myself getting up and placing a hand on her chest to make sure she is breathing. Will I ever get over this paranoia?

8 straight hours at two months?!  Maybe she was conserving all her energy in her infancy so it could expose itself at 3?  I thought I turned the corner when Ethan went four glorious hours the other night, only to turn around and go back to every two hours.  

 He is 10.8 pounds and 23.75 inches long.  And no, former self, you will never get over the paranoia of your child breathing.  I sit and stare at Ethan's chest to make sure its rising many times during the night.

9 weeks, exactly.  We have a healthy little boy on our hands and this little smirk?  Makes those two hour feedings a little more bearable.

I have a feeling his life is going to involve Audrey photo bombing all of his pictures.

BUT…she is a wonderful big sister.  Yes, she gives her little brother rough hugs and kisses.  But she is awesome.  Really, she is.  I can ask her to do anything and she will do it, no questions asked.  If I need a diaper or socks or a blanket, she will readily go fetch them.  I've been in a pickle many times while Ethan nurses and she always comes to my rescue.  

And his smiles.  Oh my, his smiles.  Get me every time.  He only really does big smiles when I stick my tongue out at him (told to do this by pediatrician so they learn to mimic) and Audrey has caught on.  So this evening while Audrey and I were bending over Ethan on the floor and sticking our tongue out at him, the mailman knocks on the glass door and was quite perplexed at what we were doing.  

I recently read two wonderful articles that were shared on Facebook that somewhat opened my mind to this whole parenting small kids while being patient goal.  Maybe its reading those articles or maybe I've just finally gotten into a tolerable routine, but today was so easy and peaceful.  We didn't have any plans and had a long morning taking our time getting dressed, making breakfast, building forts, and coloring.  It was wonderful. We had no where to be, no one to meet, no errands to accomplish, nothing.  It was perfect.

The other night I was in bed nursing Ethan and my mind was racing with everything I had to do the next day, how stressed I am and was beginning to formulate an email to tell work…I quit!  I could feel my body heat rising just stressing about it all.  And then, in a very weird coincidence, I got an email from Nick and he mentioned his replacements and all of that stress and weight just flew off me.  It was a moment that I've been waiting for the past 5 months:  the end is near.  So close.  I can do this.