I wonder if every mom deals with this. The struggle of staying home vs. working. The decision was an easy one for me in the beginning: I wanted to watch my babies grow up. Financially, we could afford to live on Nick's salary. We live in a great neighborhood swarming with other stay at home moms. My commute to work was horrible and if I had stayed, I would have been dealt some high pressure projects. I didn't give my four week notice any thought.
But then there are days like yesterday. Days when we've played with every toy and read every book...by 8am. And then I wonder if I'm cheating her out of going to a daycare where she plays and learns for an entire 8 hours. Where her social maturity is far developed. Because let's face it, all of her developments, socially, mentally, even physically, all depend on me. Ok, I do need to give Nick some credit but she spends the majority of her time with me. But back to the point. What if she starts preschool and we find out she's behind? Will it be because of me? Ok, ok, I can hear my critics in the background. Don't think so negative. She will be just fine. And she probably will, but yesterday was a rare day when we had nothing major going on, hence my mind wandering unnecessarily, and the thought of going back to work popped up a few times.
But then there are days when I wake at 4am and don't stop running until 10 at night, with every hour full of productivity. I live for days like that. Those are the ones when I'm flying high and I love being home with Audrey so much, love bonding with her every day, love these little moments we share. Because let's face it, life is short and I don't want to have any regrets. I know one day I will go back to work. And I have to remember that you can't buy time or memories. Memories like these:
She's found the dog's water bowl (gross!) and makes a beeline for it every time we set her down. So I took that approach and made her own bucket-o-fun with water. She loved it!
And when I look at precious sleeping pictures like this, it makes me realize how much I would miss if I wasn't with her during the day. Look at that face and those cheeks and that scowl! Why does she scowl when she sleeps? Her adorableness (is that a word) is too much to bear. She's like the cutest puppy dog you've ever seen, times 10.
2 comments:
I struggle with this all the time. I think we have decided to have our little guy do part-time day care (a couple of hours 2-3 days a week) so he gets the social interaction and I have free time to myself. Best of luck deciding what works best for your family. There is no right or wrong decision!
There was no question in my mind that I was staying home with my kids. They get all the social interaction they need from parents and siblings. Take her to playgroups, baby gymnastics, and kindermusik, where you can still teach her right and wrong but she can interact with other kids in a positive learning environment. We didn't want our kids in daycare at all, there are great alternatives! AND she will not be behind when she gets to preschool! I've noticed Justin is a bit behind Olivia in his love for books, but it's shining through now. You are a great Mom, keep up the awesome work!!
Post a Comment